Martina van der Veer

No more fear of vulnerability: be permeable and approachable

What does it mean to you to take off your mask(s) and be vulnerable in a positive way? For me, it's the quality of being real, approachable, touchable and permeable. We still need courage to show ourselves like this and break out of an old, socialised mould. What a shame, because we make it unnecessarily difficult for ourselves.

The new motto is: take off old armour and show your feelings. Vulnerability makes you strong - because the moment I accept it as a part of me, it loses its threatening nature. At least that's how I experience it.

Where can you take off your masks, reveal yourself - show yourself even more humanly and honestly in the way you are, in the way you are yourself? It takes an advance of trust and your affection - in the sense of "I lean towards you". This makes it easy for everyone to meet each other. In the New Work movement, this quality is a basic prerequisite. I share myself and give the advance of trust so that things warm up between us. What is really important here? Losing the fear of being vulnerable, because: We are. So what? Let's accept it and embrace ourselves. You can find more inspiration in my soundbite:



I took this photo when I was nineteen and living in Paris as an au pair. I moved from a small town to Paris and didn't know anyone there. During that time, I explored the topic of "loneliness" and grew from it. Sounds like a success story... It is, but it doesn't feel like one when I was in the middle of it. It was scary, daunting, exhausting and hard to cope with. Back then, I had so little real self-worth and self-confidence that my masks and learned behavioural strategies seemed vital to my survival. Today I know that masks cover but do not protect. They prevent exactly what we are really looking for: Genuine contact, connection and connectedness. And ultimately, to be liked for our own sake.

 

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