Martina van der Veer

When your self determines, the course is right.

Make your self the navigator and consciously take the wheel out of your ego's hands from time to time. That is self-determined.

I see the ego as a security guard. It is my inner value guard and security guard that decides at lightning speed, based on experience and learnt values, how I should behave now in order to... . This has "good" reasons and is justified, because it is always concerned with ensuring my survival. That may sound exaggerated, but the desire for belonging and affirmation is a motivator for each of us, i.e. a good reason. It is my omniscient self, my intuition or soul that wants to look after my best and highest good at all times. Both have their justification and the moment we are (self-)aware, we can take good care of ourselves with completely new power - in the sense of possibility.

Self-empowerment - The power you give (back) to yourself
When we realise how much and what creative power we truly possess, we have a whole new freedom to act consciously. And to actively shape our everyday lives. Own your power is the maxim! Of course, there are constraints and conditions that we cannot change and we are determined by external factors. Nevertheless, even here there remains a large field for self-power instead of powerlessness: we can change our judgement of a circumstance.

You've probably heard the saying: "love it, change it or leave it", also known as the LCL method. While researching the origins of this motto, which is indispensable in coaching and personal development, I came across this quote: "There are three solutions to every problem: accept it, change it, or leave it. If you can't accept it, change it. If you can't change it, leave it." Unknown author.

I think the most important, powerful and liberating option is missing here as the last step: "If you can't leave it, love it". Because if I can't or don't want to leave the circumstances, then there is still one option: take them as they are. Change your assessment of things if you can't change things or the circumstances themselves. We have this power. At any time. And to be honest - I personally think this is the most difficult option. Not necessarily easy, but doable. It gives you back the power to deal with a situation.

Victim of circumstances or powerful through acceptance?
I get to refresh these lessons from time to time ... Recently, my Mac broke down from one day to the next and took a week's worth of data with it. That was annoying and expensive. Some time ago, my lesson in composure was much more painful. After almost tearing my right leg off trying to water ski, there was no room for the "change it or leave it" option. Everything inside me ran amok. I thought it was unfair that this happened to me - I wanted to bravely try something new and ventured out of my comfort zone. I felt like I was being punished, like a victim of circumstances... and I definitely didn't deserve that. I had to put all my plans on hold, cancel seminars, cancel my summer holiday and, as I couldn't move well, my radius was extremely limited. I couldn't drive or cycle, I couldn't go for a walk or swim, I couldn't exercise anyway and sitting hurt. Suddenly I was thrown back on myself and seemingly deprived of all the things I enjoy doing, especially in summer. After a while of moaning and suffering, I accepted the situation. What else could I do? Everything else made no sense and, above all, put me in a bad mood ...

I didn't have much choice but to accept that my body had set me a clear limit. Due to the external circumstances, I was now determined by others and that couldn't be argued away. So there was only one thing left to do: accept the circumstances as they were. The moment I did this, I was suddenly self-determined again. It was up to me to make the best of my situation. Once again, it was a total eye-opener for me. I have since realised what this experience was for and I am grateful that I was forced to stop running away. I was finally able to move forward - internally and externally. 

In every situation, regardless of the circumstances, we have the freedom to decide in favour of a certain attitude and assessment of the situation. This is a conscious act, because each of us has this self that can take the wheel out of the ego's hands. Are you already following yourself? Do you allow your self to lead you?

One of my biggest goals is to be more and more in touch with myself and to trust my self-management. A process, yes - but every investment is worth it.

Self-empowerment is a task that we are obliged to do (for ourselves). The word says it all: it's about empowering ourselves. In other words, accepting the power with which we can shape our lives. Only you can give yourself permission to embrace your true power. Are you ready?


Empower yourself:

Play Video about martina_van_der_veer_vsh_thumb

Your compass for 0€:

Confidently in the lead with one technique!
Your compass for more safety.
Your inner GPS for confident self-leadership in everyday life - order now for 0 €.

    With your entry, you receive your compass to empower yourself and move forward more easily in everyday life. You can use this tool for your personal benefit and for leading teams. In addition, you will receive e-mail tips at irregular intervals so that your "Soul- and Self-Leadership with ease" succeeds. This also includes occasional tips on my offers. You can revoke your consent to receive the emails at any time. There is an unsubscribe link at the end of each email. Entering your first name in the form is voluntary and will only be used to personalise the emails. Your registration data, their logging, the sending of e-mails and a statistical evaluation of reading behaviour are processed by Mailpoet. You can find more information about this in my privacy policy.