Martina van der Veer

Unsure? You bet!

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If I had known this earlier and, above all, realised it, many things would have been easier for me! I'm talking about taking ownership of my insecurity and allowing her or myself to feel and communicate it. Why not? Take a moment to think about why it might not be a good idea. Do you realise that your experiences with the topic are immediately activated and your security guard (ego) immediately wants to determine what is right here? This is not self-determined, but a repetition loop.

Not feeling (completely) secure is completely justified and normal. However, we are still told that we must always and everywhere be in the lead without any sign of insecurity. As if this would make us more valuable. Unfortunately, this is one of the most widespread beliefs. "I mustn't show any signs of insecurity, otherwise ...". How would you complete that sentence?

"Unfortunately, I don't know if I can land the aircraft..."
Let's distinguish when your admission of insecurity might not make others feel good: Whenever I confide in you about myself and my life, I really want to feel that you are safe and that I can give you the lead and relinquish my control. Otherwise, I find it very approachable, human and genuine when someone admits that they are not safe at the moment. For me, this is a sure sign of true sovereignty and I practise it.

Out of the corset
I remember that I consciously developed behavioural strategies back in my school days to camouflage my deep insecurity, sensitivity and my previously very low self-esteem. This continued for a long time and even today I find myself in similar patterns from time to time. Unfortunately, because I actually know better and it makes my life so much easier otherwise.

A few days ago I was able to have this experience again. I channelled a Vocal Sound Healing in my first workshop "More Power4 you". Some of the women taking part knew me from previous seminars and therefore only from a business context. This fact briefly beamed me into my old "security/business corset" in my new visibility and I was much less relaxed than usual. It was only afterwards that I realised that it would have been so much softer, easier, more engaging and more relaxing to openly admit my insecurity (= fear of not liking it). The great thing is: I recognised it, understood it, took ownership of it and can now deal with it much more confidently next time. Because I will probably be insecure again the next time.

The more I allow myself to accept my insecurities and share them with others, the more confident and self-determined I am. Watch the video for tips on how you can do this more easily in future. Let's work together to turn "Insecure - just don't" into "Insecure, but safe!".


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