I just managed to finish the grapes on the 12th chime. I'm sharing my first spontaneous short video with you here, even though my self-critic is grumbling. But I know a great exercise to disempower her (see below) 😉.
What I wish for myself and for all of us: less "I could have, I should have, I ought to have..." and more freedom in being yourself. Of course, this first requires self-reflection in order to recognise yourself and your "good" reasons for doing or not doing things. The next step is to increase your self-confidence by strengthening your self-esteem - e.g. with self-esteem muscle training.
How does that work? Simple: With every self-criticism, you create a counterbalance yourself by realising what you have (nevertheless) done well. These can be small things that give you a much more balanced view and therefore a better feeling than the over-critical view that we tend to believe. Our own and that of others. This is where your own power comes in - Own Your Power!
Your change of perspective makes the difference
Have you fallen back into your old pattern? Cool, you've recognised it. And maybe you also know why or why it wasn't possible for you to do otherwise at that moment. = Important.
You weren't quick-witted, visible, courageous, strong? But you were calm, observed and listened or gave others space? = Valuable.
You had so firmly resolved to do it and failed again (best wishes from the New Year's resolutions ...)? What was your priority instead and what did it serve you for = essential (realisation)?
Your self-confidence grows from every experience that you categorise under the question: "What did I learn from this? What did it lead to? How can I evaluate it in retrospect?
Disempowering negative self-assessment and replacing it with a self-appreciative view is a game changer. And yes, it takes practice and your decision. The good news is that there is no expiry date for this. You can remind yourself and practise it at any time. If you ask me, that's a good plan for 2024.